Bartender jokes free#

He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. Eats shoots and leaves.” A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. Google me!” Sure enough, the definition for panda was: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. “Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. “They’ve got millions of them!” A panda walks into a bar. “Where did you get that?” “France,” the kitty says. The cat is wearing a little baseball cap.

The bartender says, “You know, we don’t get too many gorillas in here.” The gorilla replies, “Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain’t coming back, either.” A French man walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder. The bartender thinks to himself, “This gorilla doesn’t know the prices of drinks,” and gives him 15 cents change. A gorilla walks into a bar and says, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.

The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: “You mathematicians don’t know your limits.” A crab walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint please, but if I’m not satisfied with it, I’d like to be compensated with 10 bottles of champagne.” The bartender says, “Why the big clause?” The barman says, “We don’t serve time-travelers in here.” A time-traveler walks into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth pint, etc. Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.” An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip?” Two guys walk into a bar. The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.” His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!” A screwdriver rolls into a bar. “Don’t mind me, I’m just looking around,” the blind guy adds. “Hey friend, what are you doing?” asks the bartender. The steaks are too high.” Funny Bar JokesĪ blind guy enters a pub, takes his dog by the rear legs, and begins to swing the dog in a circle. Wanna give it a go?” The man takes another look at the meat and says, “I think I’ll pass. If you miss even one, you pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the night.

Bartender jokes free#

He asks the bartender, “What’s with the meat?” The bartender says, “If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?” A man walks into a bar. David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and says to the barman, “I want you to call me David Hoff.” The barman replies “sure thing, Dave… no hassle.” An amnesiac walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. “We don’t serve your type here!” So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, this is a singles bar.” A dangling participle walks into a bar. The NSA smiles and says, “Heard it.” Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Hey, I’ve got a great new joke for you!” the barman says. He said, “Ouch.” An oxymoron walks into a bar, and the sound was deafening. The past, present, and future walk into a bar… It was tense. His assassination attempt was unsuccessful.

“I’ll have H20, too,” replies the second chemist. “I’ll take a glass of H20,” says the first chemist.

One of the best bar jokes might be, that two chemists enter a bar.